The short story of how we met and married seems so simple. When I was living in Florida (and married to someone else), a mutual friend asked me to take her friend out to dinner when he was in town headed out on a cruise. I did. While at dinner, I remember clearly thinking "This must be what it is like to go on a great date." We had a fun, chaste night. I dropped him off at his hotel and went on with my life.
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| Savannah ~ February 2015 |
A year later, I had moved back to my hometown after splitting from my first husband. About that time, our mutual friend started "encouraging" me to go on a date with her friend. I resisted for months. We started dating in September 2006, and married in December 2008, almost 4 years after we had originally met. Since then, we have gone on to parent two children, and see more than a few of our individual and collective dreams come true.
Behind the short story
I put a few things in action that just made sense to me.
1. Clarity. I had a list of everything I wanted in my life partner. The simple list included things like employed, college educated, financially independent, not a drug addict. I went on to expand this list several times.
2. Being Open. At one time, I kept a pretty good count of how many dates and introductions I had. I knew that my vision for my life included a husband and children. I knew that it wasn't going to just happen if I sat in my apartment and watched The Sopranos all the time. And so I went out. I was on Match.com and I went on two dozen first dates for drinks, dinner, coffee. If the guy looked like we potentially had anything in common, I met him in person. If nothing else, I learned how to have a pleasant conversation with a near-stranger for at least 30 minutes. This is a skill that has served me well in business as well as my personal life.
I will admit that I likely went on a few dates with people who didn't look like they were the right fit on paper. I went anyway. I realize now that I was "detached from the outcome" on most of those dates -- and in fact, the few guys that I thought looked just perfect on paper were the same ones that ended up really hurting me in the process.
3. Being Ready. By the time I agreed to go on a date with the man who became my husband, I was a pro at the first date. When people have asked me why I waited so long to let my friend fix us up, I've always said I wanted to be ready for him. After all, he was a friend's friend. The last thing I wanted to do was go on a few dates that then ended disastrously because I wasn't emotionally ready. By the time I went on the date, I had moved very far forward in healing from my past relationship. I also really understood the rules of dating by then. How much to say, how much to not share right away. I don't know how much of a difference it made, but I'm sure it helped me be much less scary.
Wrapping it all up
I started to learn more about manifesting, law of attraction and the Secret in 2008. In 2013, I started to learn about it in relationship to clients and money, and in 2014 I became a certified teacher in the topic. When I looked back over my life, I found evidence of manifesting all over the place - including in finding my life partner.
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